“Somebody horked our seats!” cry the Conservatives
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“The time to hesitate is through! No time to wallow in Stephen Harper‘s mire,” Canadian voters announced yesterday with a landslide victory for the Liberal Party and its leader, maple-flavored Jim Morrison clone Justin Trudeau. Harper will step down as Conservative Party leader and, as is Canadian custom, will be stripped of his holdings in Canadian Tire money and jeered in all Tim Horton’s for the next 9 years. The other interesting Canadian, Drake, celebrated election day by putting on a baggy turtleneck sweater and doing the Carlton Dance in Don Johnson’s neon spaceship, which everyone loved because, as Kara Brown explained, Drake is the best at being a dork.